An Appeal to the Good Peoples of Groombridge VI

Hello, one and all. I'm Doctor Jank N. Stein, Autocrat of the Empire of Jank. Hero to all the little Jankamaniacs out there in the audience, loyally viewing this broadcast! I'd like to clear the air a bit, as it seems that some people on this great planet have gotten a rather negative impression of myself and the nation I control. Terms are thrown around, terms like "petty tyrant" and "despot" and "murder baron." I assure you I am nothing of the sort! Why, to even think I would be so lowly ranked as a mere Baron is laughable! I am at least a Murder Duke.

With that out of the way, I'd like to address some criticism that has been made. Ahem. "You cannot use war orphans to clean minefields! What kind of monster are you?!"  Now this is clearly a very emotionally charged accusation from a source who shall remain anonymous until my intelligence services find them. But I will respond anyway. What would you have me do instead? Only use non-war orphans? You would have me discriminate based solely on the cause of a child's orphaning? Whatever else you might head, I am not one to discriminate based on such trivial things! All orphans are equal under Jankensteinian rule! All will be given the opportunity to work for their nation in a variety of tasks, including but not limited to: mine clearing, house cleaning, sanitation work, telephone operator, technical support, technical driver, and mime.

That concludes this public address. Be safe and be prosperous, Sons and Daughters of Groombridge VI.